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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip here or there would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?